Okay, so this just summarizes how I feel right now. I really couldn’t help but share it. These emotions are eating me up and I just need to get it out. Obviously, I hope he’ll come around…but at the same time I hope he’ll never find out. 

taken from ThoughtCatalog.com 

With you, I’m always waiting.

Waiting for my phone to light up with your name. I try to keep myself busy with other things, text other people, leave my phone in a different room, but at the end of the day, I am always waiting for your messages. I try to ask you questions that will elicit a response. Every time my phone vibrates, it’s your text that I’m hoping for. I’m hoping you took a few seconds away from your busy schedule to talk to me. Sometimes, I wait for hours, even days, for a response. To me, it’s always worth the wait.

I wait and wait and wait to see you again. Time stops when I’m with you, or at least I want it to. Moments with you are few and far between. I tried to stay awake as long as possible when I slept in your bed with you, so time wouldn’t move so quickly while we were asleep. I wish I could wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life. I would drop whatever I am doing for the chance to see you for five minutes. I never know how long I will have to wait to see you again.

I’m always left waiting for your validation. I want you to be proud of me like I am proud of you. You’re not one to hand out compliments freely, so when I get one from you, I truly believe it. I try to be a better person because of you. I hope you laugh at my jokes because I try so hard to make you laugh. You taught me to follow my dreams, and to create the life I want to live. Live life to the fullest every day because you never know when that will get taken away. I find myself waiting for the next life lesson you will teach me. You have taught me so many already.

And I’m waiting for you to fall in love with me. This is the toughest one. It’s the most out of reach, and nearly impossible. I have gotten used to hours without texts, days without seeing you, and weeks without compliments, but I’ll never get used to this. Truthfully, you’ll forever be in my heart, even when I end up with someone else. Nobody has ever consumed my thoughts like this. I saw a quote once that continues to stick with me. “It is so easy for me to love you that it frightens me. I’ve never been good at anything. But I’ve never wanted anything so much as I want to hold you every waking moment. And every night while I sleep. The question has ceased to be, how do I love you? And has become, how will I ever stop?” I will always care for you, even if we’re not in contact anymore or living in cities far away from each other. I truly wish the best for you, even though I will incessantly wait for it to be me that you want. I am aware of the fact that I could be waiting forever. To me, it’s always worth the wait

"You don’t cross my mind, you live in it."

~(via sarahhswritings)